1. What the difference between thoughts and feelings?.Thinking Sentences ? I feel like? feel as if? or feel that?are thought projections.
When we start with ? I feel ? and add the specific feeling, we are into emotions.2. Do adults require responsibility for our own feelings?.Our law mandates it.Does it lead to good human relations to say, You are making me crazy!.
compared to ? I feel like I am going crazy!.3. Is decision-making pure logic and reason?.95% of all major decisions in life are motivated by our emotions, and edited by our thinking, after-the-fact.Asking Questions of you such as ? How will doing this make me feel tomorrow, next month, and next year? How will not doing this make me feel in the future?.4.
Are you aware of other people's feelings?.Am I a habitual critic and judge of others? Do I make people comfortable, or put-down their feelings and ideas? Do I ask myself ? how will what I say make them feel?.5. What is wrong with labeling situations and people, it feels OK to me!.Leaders label feelings as productive or hurtful ? it avoids personal insult and leads to solutions, not anger.
You are making me feel ignorant and useless! You are a butthead!, or.I feel uncomfortable in meeting new people; it makes me angry with others.6. Do I show people I appreciate them or just complain?.That is first-class work, and brilliant thinking. I can depend on you.
We show people we value them by our words and actions. The # 1 complaint of significant-others, business associates and executives is lack of recognition by others.7. Do you recognize your own feelings of fear, anxiety and anger before you act on them?.When you feel the heat of anger or the stress of fight-or-flight, you have half-a-second to veto it.
You can train yourself to increase the veto-time over impulsive behaviors up to a few seconds. It makes the difference between success and failure in relationships.8. Are most of the emotions you experience ? negative?.You can use a Duchenne-Smile (teeth-and-eyes), to raise your level of positive emotions.
We have the choice of smiling or frowning, and to train ourselves to pick positive feelings.Do you know the Butterfly Effect? Small changes lead to Massive-Reactions! Does the flap of the wings of a butterfly in Brazil, set off a tornado in Texas? Google up - Edward Lorenz, MIT.9. Are you a guilt-tripper for others?.Do you tell folks what they should, could or ought to do?.
Is it better to ask ? the magic question ? What can I do to help make you feel better?.10. Do you avoid toxic people who put you down instead of lift your spirits?.Naturally you do, now ask yourself whether you are guilty of being a toxic, negative personality at home or in your career?.How many folks come to you to ask personal advice? They do not want solutions; they want empathy and compassion, and a word of cheer.
Body language begins with your posture, your facial expressions, and your gestures. You choice of words is last on the list, so control how you appear to others.
.Author of Speed Reading for Professionals, published by Barron's Educational, business
partner of Evelyn Wood, creator of speed reading, graduating 2 million, including the White House Staff of four U.S.
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By: H. Bernard Wechsler